


FN-1984

by macabreverbosity



Series: Addams Family Values [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Addams Family AU, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Hux and Kylo are ridiculous, Justice for Steve, Kylo Ren Has Weird Kinks, M/M, murder?, sort of, the kissing thing, the stormtroopers all need a vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 21:49:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7378591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macabreverbosity/pseuds/macabreverbosity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The stormtroopers know better than to say anything or even seem like they might not be minding their own business.</p>
            </blockquote>





	FN-1984

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to formally apologize to everyone.

The stormtroopers never comment on it. It is an unspoken unanimous census. Whenever their two comanders were anywhere in sight and happen to be together in the same room, the troopers would first make sure to never call attention to themselves. Second, they made sure to make a hasty and smooth retreat if at all possible.

The stormtroopers were exceptional. Trained from birth to be effective, efficient and loyal to a fault. Thus when it first happened, they were, understandably, a bit...flustered, would be the most apt word for it. Things like morbidly fascinating came to mind. A few were disgusted by the flagrant display; those people chose--very wisely-- to keep their opinions on the matter to themselves. They all knew better, especially after Steve.

The Myth, the Man, the Legend.

Steve--better known in the First Order machinary as FN-1984--was a stormtrooper from the FN corps under the supervision of Captain Phasma. He'd worked in sanitation before being transfered to guard duties on the lower levels of Starkiller Base.

'Steve', as he'd been nicknamed after the incident by his fellow troopers, had made the rather unwise choice of speaking out of line to a commanding officer. Usually this offense would have probably warrented, at most, complete reconditioning; but the poor unsuspecting trooper had talked back to General Hux. Not only that but whatever he had said had been so egregiously out of line that no one recalled what it was. Those few who did know--were there during the proceedings--dared not utter a single word of it to anyone. The stormtroopers who had been...well they were never the same after that.

So Steve had been summoned to reconditioning the very next day, which was not out of the ordinary. He'd been escorted by a small detail of other stormtroopers to the room. What was odd was that General Hux was there. Typically he did not take interest in such trivial exploits but he was there, in the room. What happened next is vague at best and only recounted in broad brush strokes. There had been blood and carnage; screams that echoed off walls and in the hallways.

Some suspected that Captain Phasma had had a role in the whole affair considering FN-1984's reputation. He'd been inappropriate to his fellow squad mates and had a narrow streak of mild insubordination. No one was surprised, per se.

Some had said that Kylo Ren was more than likely involved in the actual execution, considering that he and Hux were what could be called a "unit". It was the closest thing to married within the corps, considering they did not have any sort to legal or religious binding within the ranks of the First Order. A unit was most commonly comprised of two people and they were typically chosen according to combat compatibility, most ended up more biblically wedded though.

No one could confirm or deny any of the details. Perhaps, though, that was for the best. There were just some things that were best relegated to the realm of the unknown.

Thusly, the stormtroopers all knew when to keep their mouths tightly clamped and not say a word about anything they saw. They merely pretended they were somewhere far far away in the stars.

The General had started talking on the bridge--one of his many morale speeches. Something to the effect of drowning the Galaxy in blood and The New Republic having paid dearly for their refusal to _heel_. Kylo Ren had been standing near by, simply observing, when he'd raised his hands to release the claps of his helmet, the hinges unlatching from their catch at his neck; releasing with a hiss. His face had been impassive and he strode forward with long sure strides. A sliver of dread permeated the air and slide down the troopers' spines. Some of them flinch away from it, only the General remained unaffected; a proud immovable pillar.

Kylo stopped a mere two steps short of where Hux was standing, still speaking, paying no mind to the giant force user picking up his arm by the hand and extending it outward. He pauses briefly as Kylo dips down to place a kiss on Hux’s wrist.

"I do love it when you talk murder." Kylo offered by way of justification. "You know what it does to me."

"I can see that." Hux smirked as Kylo continued to kiss up and down his arm in rapid succession. Hux went back to his speech, cheeks flushed but no less vehement in his delivery. It was not the first time it had happened and the General didn't seem the least bit perturbed by it. In fact, he looked rather proud; head held high, daring anyone to say a word in rebuke.

The stormtroopers on patrol did not even break stride as they left the room; the bridge crew did not even look up from their monitors. They all knew better. No one wanted to end up like Steve.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on tumblr [here](murderdollls.tumblr.com)  
> 


End file.
